How Disturbing are You?

One of the most renowned insurance salesmen to have ever lived was Ben Feldman from East Liverpool, Ohio, a small, low-income community situated in the northeast part of the state. East Liverpool and the surrounding communities are populated, by the most part, with blue collar residents.

In his day, Feldman wrote more life insurance in one year than some insurance companies did. During his lifetime, he wrote over $1 billion in life insurance and was recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records as the "most outstanding salesman in history." When someone of Feldman’s caliber speaks, people should listen. According to Feldman, a key to his success was his courage to ask his prospects what he called “the disturbing questions.” That is, he asked his prospects well-thought-out, planned questions that were purposefully designed to reveal their underlying need or desire for protection. Although his expertise was in the life insurance realm, his methods and salesmanship techniques apply to our efforts as multiline agents.

Feldman’s “disturbing questions” are the kind of questions that trigger the emotions and disturb a person into thinking about circumstances they would normally not consider on their own. It’s a means of provoking thought and bringing about clarity on those issues of life that can easily and suddenly turn someone’s world upside down. That’s your challenge. That's your job... and I might add, it’s also your responsibility and obligation as a professional.

Feldman understood how people think. He knew people don’t move in their minds from "I have a problem" to "I have a need for your product and service" until they are first made to consider the consequences of the problem and personalize them, relating them to their own lives.

Until a Thing Becomes Relevant, It Has No Importance

Consider the following disturbing questions and build on these when formulating your own disturbing questions game plan!

Disturbing Questions about Long-Term Hospitalization & Inability to Work:

“Who do you know who has ever suffered from a serious medical problem or has been injured, requiring a significant amount of medical care? When was the last time someone in your family was medically confined due to illness or an accident? What happened? Were you left with bills that were not covered by your medical coverage? What kind of expenses were you left to pay out of your own pocket, medical and otherwise? What did you do? Where did the money come from? How did that make you feel? How helpful would it have been to have had a way to pay those bills without having to pay for them out of pocket? What kind of red tape did you have to deal with when it came to your medical bills? How much wasn’t covered? How would you pay for deductibles and co-pays?”

 OR

“Imagine you have been struck ill—a stroke or injury to your back while lifting a supply box onto the conveyor belt where you work at XYZ Company. Consider all the expenses not covered by your major medical plan, like deductibles, travel expenses, lodging and rent, meals, prescriptions, and co-pays. How will you pay for these things when that happens? Who is going to help you with paying the bills? How will you be able to meet your mortgage and utilities and still pay for gas in the car or put food on the table? When I don’t work, I don’t get paid. What happens when you can’t work due to illness or accident? How will it affect your family? What will they do? What considerations should be made in case you become sick or injured and cannot earn a paycheck? What will happen? How will you manage? How will your family feel or react if the bills go unpaid because of the extra expenses incurred as a result of your illness or injury? How will being unable to work due to injury or illness affect your ability to pay for your debts, bills, monthly obligations, deductibles, and co-pays?”

Disturbing Questions about Long-Term Care, Nursing Homes & Medicaid:

“What plans have you made to protect your assets? What plans have you made to make sure your children will inherit your assets? What plans have you made to prevent having to live in a nursing facility when your health declines? Has anyone ever explained to you to your satisfaction what happens when Medicaid is used for long-term care? Who do you want to inherit your home, your savings? How would you feel if your family has to give your home and other assets to the government to pay for your care and your Medicaid benefits? Do you know anyone who has needed long-term care? How familiar are you with what happens when nursing home care is needed and how it is paid for or not paid for? How did it change their lives and affect them? What financial burdens did they experience? When your health fails, would you rather have a plan in place that gives you control over your care, or are you content to be at the mercy of your condition? What are your plans for when your health changes? Do you plan to live with your children when your health changes? How will that work? How do your children feel about it? What kind of burdens would that add to their family situation? How do you feel about the possibilities of having to live with your children if you were to need continuous care? When your health changes, would you like to remain in your home and have in-home care? Why? How will you make sure that happens, that you have that option? Where will the money come from? How will it affect you if you cannot live at home anymore? How important will it be for you to maintain the control and choice over your healthcare in the future? How would you feel if someone else was in control of your medical care and the choices you have for assisted care? When you are no longer able to care for yourself, what is going to happen? Who will take care of you?”

Disturbing Questions About Life Insurance:

“If you were to die today, Mark, how would your wife Melissa and little Mark and little Melissa maintain the standard of living you’ve worked so hard to provide for them? How would the mortgage get paid? How would the utilities and all those other bills like food, clothes, and car upkeep be provided for if you are no longer around to earn a living for them? How tragic would it be for them to live, struggling constantly to make ends meet, and maintain their own self-respect when it comes to being responsible and paying their bills? How would Melissa feel if she had to take just any job to make sure the bills get paid? Where would the money come from for little Mark and little Melissa to go to college as you’ve said you want them to? What would happen to their dreams and hopes if they aren’t able to go to college?”

Disturbing Questions About Auto Insurance:

“Mark, let’s say you are driving down Main Street and accidentally swerve the car—for one reason or another—and go left of center on the roadway, hitting another vehicle head-on. If the other driver was hurt badly and needed hospitalization, they might sue you. What would you do, Mark, if you were sued? How would you pay for it? What would you do if your savings, 401k, and other assets like your inheritance or your children’s college funds were suddenly at risk of being seized by the courts in settlement of the damages claimed against you for hurting and injuring the other driver?”

These are just some simple examples of how a sales conversation might sound. We can debate on the strength of the disturbing questions and scenarios I offer here as examples, but don’t let that distract you from the point being presented. And that point is to be disturbing—to be compelling and courageous in getting customers to face the possibilities and the realities of life when bad things happen to good people. 

It’s important to be nice, but do not be nice to a fault. Failing to get customers thinking about the things that can happen if they aren't properly insured is part of our mission and responsibility as insurance professionals.

Be disturbing! Ask disturbing questions of your customers and your friends who need auto insurance and life insurance. They may squirm in their seats for a moment, but customers will thank and respect you if they ever need your help or the protection they’ve purchased from you.

Not long ago, my good friend passed away of a disease that was gradually debilitating to his body and mind. Watching how the disease progressed and overcame him was heartbreaking to witness. My friend was a wonderful individual, one in a million, and I had great respect for him. Our families were close and we had a lot of fun times together.

As his disease advanced, I saw how he slowly drifted away mentally and physically. Just two years before his diagnosis, our families were enjoying a picnic together, and I mentioned that he might want to consider life insurance for his wife and two beautiful little girls. It was a conversation we had had a dozen times before, but to no avail. I tried to explain to him the importance of making sure his wife and girls were taken care of in case something happened to him, but I wasn’t getting through to him. He often responded lightheartedly, “God will take care of us.”

My response was always, “That’s true, but sometimes we have to give God something to work with,” and that made him laugh. Then I said, “How are your girls going to go to college if you die? What is going to happen to this home when you’re gone? What is your wife going to do for money? Right now, she works at home. Surely, without you, she will have to go out and find a traditional job to earn a consistent paycheck. Doesn’t she want to be able to stay at home with the girls?”

After I asked enough of the disturbing questions, my friend finally bought a policy, albeit a bit reluctantly. It was a start, something he could build upon when he had more money and was more financially secure. I was a bit relieved, and so was his wife.

Just before he died, we had a private conversation at his bedside. My friend never cried; he was a tough guy, and crying just wasn’t his style. In fact, we would kid around about his ‘no crying’ policy all the time, laughing and accusing him of being a softhearted guy at the core and how he was just trying to hide it by acting macho. He was tough on the outside, with a soft, kind hearted center. As I sat at his bedside, he said to me with tears in his eyes, “Thank you. Thank you for shaming me into buying that life insurance. Now the girls and my wife will be able to pay the house off. My wife will have to go to work, but at least she won’t have to worry about the mortgage. That’s a big deal, Tony. Thanks for being my friend.”

He died not long after that conversation. I miss him, and I know his family does as well, but he did the right thing for them. He didn’t leave them empty handed, with sleepless nights filled with worry about how the bills will get paid. He left a legacy to carry on. In this case, I was speaking to a friend, someone I had a good relationship with and who I felt I had the liberty to do some straight talking with, disturbing him as to the possible consequences of what will happen without adequate life insurance to pay for the bills.

Maybe it was easier to have courage talking to a friend, but I have had that same difficult conversation with many people during my career. I have been disturbing people for years! I have other stories chronicling the miracle of life insurance, but his is the most memorable for me, and I’m happy to have disturbed him—or, as he said, "shamed" him—persuading him into buying what he needed for his family.

Hopefully, you would do the same.

"How disturbing are you to people?" I hope the answer is that you are very disturbing, because in the end, it's the one annoyance people can't live without.

Copyright © 2011 - Tony Cefalu