I was never a “babe” magnet…And “mojo” was a “no-go” for me when growing up. Okay; who am I fooling, it is the same for me even today as an adult! I don’t possess that ‘X” factor when it comes to meeting women or getting a date.
Experience has a lot to do with maturity and an understanding of circumstances and the facts of how life is and works. For me, I have looked at my past…as pathetic it may seem to others, and have been able to interpret it in a positive light as best as I can.
The sum total of our experiences is only relevant and valuable to the extent that we interpret and apply correctly the lessons of the past to the present time. For me, looking back at my dating experiences proved to be the best proving ground for my future success in the sales profession.
I Heard “No Thanks, I’m Not Interested,” a lot…Unfortunately.
Yes, that is true; I would ask girls out on a date only to hear them say back, “No thanks, I’m not interested.” It got so bad that when I would approach a girl to ask her out, I would say something like this, “I know you’re probably busy, but would you possibly be interested in going out tonight for dinner?”
Of course with such an approach to women, I was predisposing myself for rejection so that the “let down” wasn’t so painful. It wasn’t a good tactic, but then, I’m not the first person to have ever behaved that way. I’m sure of that…I was so used to rejection that I helped set it up whenever “prospecting” for a date.
How about with you; are you guilty of the same behavior? Maybe it isn’t in the dating realm that you can be accused of applying the same logic and tactics, but what about in the sales arena? Don’t do that to yourself…Don’t predispose failure and serve up rejection for yourself by the very things you do or even say to people. Be hopeful, be positive and expect…success. Expect that you will get “the date.”
Lesson #1: Expect a date when you ask for one. Don’t predispose yourself to fail…If you do…then you guarantee failure will happen.
Even a Blind Squirrel Finds a Nut Every So Often
Then it happened; she said, “Sure, let’s go out.” Crap; “What do I do now?” I really hadn’t expected to get a “yes” from anyone! Then it hit me; I should have expected a “yes” all along.
Why; because I kept asking women if they would like to go on a date. It stands to reason; the more women I asked out…and the more often I asked them, eventually someone was going to say, “Yes.”
Lesson #2: The secret to “mojo” is to ask as many women…as often as possible to go on a date with you. The Law of Large Numbers is the secret to “mojo.” So work your mojo and be persistent in asking people to meet with you about insurance. Ask a lot prospects…as often as possible, and eventually someone will say “yes,” I guarantee it.
You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don’t Take
Hockey legend, Wayne Gretzky, is credited with the above saying. He is right. If you don’t try; you don’t get…what you want. After becoming numb to hearing, “No thanks, I’m not interested,” I decided that I would employ my process of asking a lot of women as often as possible if they wanted to go on a date.
Not being particularly gifted with a lot of mojo, I figured my persistency coupled with simply “asking” for a date to as many women as possible would pay-off; and it did.
Lesson #3: Sometimes you score…sometimes you don’t. You never know until you take the shot. So take the shot and talk to that prospect you have always wanted to talk to but haven’t worked up the nerve to do so yet…Ask for the sale even if you think they won’t buy…If you don’t take the shot, you can’t score. (I know; I am going to catch all kinds of crap for using this analogy.)
Fish Where the Fish are Swimming
Obviously, this is another analogy I am going to pay the price for…In any event, what I mean here is that if I was going to be asking women out on a date, I had to go where the women were located in order to do that…Sounds logical, doesn’t it?
Well, if it is so logical, someone please explain to me why so many agents sit in their offices expecting prospects to just magically appear so they can sell them something? I can come to no other conclusion than that some agents must actually think that way; expecting “the sale” to walk right through their agency doors.
People are not like that; they don’t come to you to buy…you have to go to them to get them to buy. So, fish where the fish swim. Seek out prospects actively. Think about where they are and how you can approach them to start a sales conversation.
For me, I never waited around aggressively for a date to show up at my door or to call me on the phone. I knew it wasn’t going to happen. So, I went out to where they were and I would meet them and talk to them. That’s how you get to know people and that is how sales are eventually made. It is the same with our industry and our customers.
Lesson #4: Swim to where the fish are swimming. Don’t randomly wait for opportunity; seek opportunity out. If you want to get a date, go to where the dates are waiting. If you “wait aggressively” for something to happen; you will end up “aggressively lonely.”
Just Having Fun
The point of this entire message is not to disparage women or reduce them to something less than “human.” Women are to be respected as individuals. I hope that I am clear on that point.
Women are to be revered as the civilizing force in the world. They are our equals, our partners, companions, friends, soul-mates and loves. As my “idol” and mentor, Mr. T would say, “I pity the fool” who would think otherwise! (I am sure I lost some people on that last comment.)
So, I do not want to be misunderstood when I draw parallels to dating and the sales profession as if I am discounting the place of importance women have in our lives both personally and professionally.
I draw the parallel of dating and prospecting in the insurance industry all in fun with no intention to belittle or offend anyone. With that said, I did learn a lot of lessons while dating that unwittingly prepared me for a successful career in sales; those lessons summarized are:
Lesson #1: Expect a date when you ask for one…Or else, why bother asking.
Lesson #2: The Law of Large Numbers is the secret to mojo. Therefore, anyone can have mojo, or sales success, if they are willing to be persistent in approaching as many people as often as possible in engaging sales conversations.
Lesson #3: Sometimes you score…sometimes you don’t. But you’ll never know if you could have scored without first taking the shot and trying. If you never take the shot, you can’t score and win. It’s impossible…So take the shot and find out what sales success feels like.
Lesson #4: Swim to where the fish swim. Get up; and get going to where the prospects are swimming; else you will never make contact with them and will never get the opportunity to sell them anything.
That’s what dating taught me about being successful in the sales profession. Now get out there and find yourself a date; I mean, find yourself “a customer.”
Copyright © 2010 - Tony Cefalu
