Innocently Insulting

Language is important. What people say, and how they say things, matters. Words have meaning beyond their dictionary definitions. Words convey emotion, nuance, information and subtleties about a circumstance or story that go beyond their literal meaning. By what someone says, they can betray a thought, a bias and either endear an individual to themselves or alienate them in the most innocent fashion.

In sales, developing a sensitivity to how our words are perceived by others is a key element to success and to being understood as an individual. As I have remarked often in the past in regard to the immortal words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow; "To be understood is a luxury;" it is time for sales professionals to get into the luxury business and to be understood as best as possible when speaking to people.

Are You the Insulting Type?

One area in which sales professionals often lose momentum and weaken their sales presentations is by way of "insult." Yes; I said "insult," those innocent remarks we can make to people that are never meant to be hurtful or "cutting," but in the end, are hurtful and cutting.

They are quietly demeaning remarks that often imply disparaging overtones heard quite loudly by the person being spoken to. The following are some example remarks along with a translation of how the listener can interpret what is being said to them:


Remark: "Yes, but...or...Yes, however...or...Nonetheless, I think..."
Translation: "I hear what you are saying, but I don't care what you said."

Remark: "Do you understand...or...What you don't understand..."
Translation: "Is this concept too hard for you to figure out?"


Remark: "What you need to realize...or...What you fail to recognize..."
Translation: "What you haven't a clue about is..."

Remark: "Why would you...or...Why do you..."
Translation: "What were you thinking?"

How you say something has a tremendous impact on the message being transmitted. Therefore, to say that some of the above examples can be used in a sales conversation without any negative consequence is correct. How a person says something can completely change, or soften, a remark that may otherwise be construed as harsh in most other circumstances.

Just consider the above remarks the kind of words you may want to avoid for fear of being misunderstood and of innocently insulting someone in conversation.

"Do you see what I mean?" (Just kidding. No insult intended!)



Copyright © 2010 - Tony Cefalu